Dirty Mind: How to Clear Out the Stressful Mess

April tends to mark the renewal. The tulips are blooming and the sun stays out a bit longer. Often, we may take the time to engage in spring cleaning of our spaces, but rarely consider other aspects of our life that could also use a deep clean. 

So, what happens if we don’t engage in a deep clean? For years, I thought it was okay to do some “surface cleaning”. I could wipe off the cabinets of my unhealthy coping mechanisms by forcing myself to engage in behaviors such as eating healthy, that would not become habits. I could bury my dissatisfaction with relationships and jobs by distracting myself with a trip or a bubble bath. And, yes, to the public eye, my “cabinets” looked glossy. I seemed to be managing that stress well, but underneath, I was a stressful mess. And, because I had not addressed the junk underneath, I would end the year (or sometimes half of the year), overwhelmed and frustrated despite me doing what looked good. I innately knew that I was unwell.

Perhaps you can relate to engaging in a surface clean within. While a surface clean may work when you are in a particularly sticky situation, it does not heal. If I do not scrub my bath tub every so often, grime is still going to populate because I am not addressing the true culprit. It is the same thing with our minds. Our mind is an amazing organ capable of doing so much, but if we don’t examine the clutter from our trauma, unhealthy beliefs about ourselves, and the data from the world that we all live in, it can become sluggish and unable to function at optimal level. 

I think about my clients who have literally tried to keep everything together. We wipe down things by watching all the TED talks and trying to do whatever we can to keep it all together, yet, we end up watching these things fall apart and feeling defeated. 

The truth of the matter is: deep cleans are not fun. They require time and energy to complete and are not enjoyable at the moment. However, deep cleanings give us space to engage in maintenance practices, such as surface cleanings, without us feeling overwhelmed. Clearing out the clutter that serves as a barrier to our wellness helps us heal.

While the process is not easy, it is definitely worth it. If you are wondering where to start, start with one “room” or area in your life, examine it, acknowledge how you have coped with it over time, and commit to working on it step by step. If there is a job that is overwhelming you, examine what aspects of it are truly harming you. Acknowledge how you have tried to address it. Then, explore alternative options and evaluate the outcome. You may have to repeat this process to find out what works for you, which is okay. Also, allow others to help you along the journey if needed. Sometimes others may notice a spot that we have overlooked or may be able to provide potential options for you to try. You have a beautiful mind-give it the love and care that it deserves.