Navigating Holiday Stress, Grief, and Burnout: The “Twilight Zone” of the Holidays

Ah, Christmastime again.

For many of us, the holiday season doesn’t slow life down—it speeds it up. Between being there for family and friends and managing home responsibilities, this month can feel overwhelming. A colleague recently described this experience as “the twilight zone of the holidays,” and it fit perfectly.

We hope things will calm down. Instead, holiday stress, emotional burnout, and unprocessed grief often intensify. Our thoughts race. Our expectations rise. And when reality doesn’t meet them, disappointment follows.

Anticipating Holiday Emotions (and When Plans Fall Apart)

In anticipation of those feelings, we sometimes try to compensate. We try to buy ourselves out of it, indulge in things that we are conditioned to believe will make us merry—only to see those “gifts” fall short. Flights get canceled. Schedules shift. The person we were looking forward to seeing isn’t present.

So what do we do when the holidays don’t go as planned?

Some of us vent or complain. Others bury the disappointment and push forward, unwilling to sit with emotional discomfort. Both responses are human. Over time, however, they can lead to what I call the “Scrooge mentality.”

The Scrooge Mentality: When Scarcity Shapes Our Mindset

In A Christmas Carol (even the throwback cartoon version), Scrooge isn’t just grumpy—he’s guarded. He once knew joy and love, but over time, a scarcity mindset took hold. The belief that there was never enough—money, security, worth—hardened into emotional distance.

That kind of mindset doesn’t come from nowhere. It often grows from unresolved pain. And when pain goes unacknowledged, it can limit our ability to experience connection and, at times, lead us further away from the gifts that we truly desire.

Minding (and mending a mindset)

So what’s the alternative when life doesn’t go our way—especially during the holidays?

Here’s the truth: it’s okay to feel frustrated.
Missing someone you love hurts.
Financial stress during the holidays hurts.
Watching your progress stall hurts.

Those feelings are valid.

But if we’re not careful, they can drain our energy and narrow our perspective. People who appear grounded and resilient during the holidays still experience long days and emotional fatigue. They’ve not so simply learned how to keep moving forward—one step at a time.

Building Emotional Resilience, One Rep at a Time

I often think about emotional resilience the way I think about strength training. Lifting heavy is hard, but doing one more rep than last week builds capacity. I remember when 25 pounds felt overwhelming. I whined about it then, and I still whine about lifting double or triple that at times. I whine, but I don’t stay there-we whine, then we do the hard thing, trusting that what we do today is preparing us for tomorrow.

Similarly, when the holidays stir memories of loss or longing, we can make space for it, then do the thing that most honors all that they taught us and our own inner wisdom, one decision at a time.

Finding Meaning Beyond the Holidays

We don’t need ghosts of Christmas past to reflect on what matters. We don’t even need a holiday. Meaning shows up daily—in our breath, in the people, places, and things that reveal aspects of ourselves and challenge us, and in the slow building towardsour desires.

Suppressing emotions only adds weight. And extra weight eventually slows us down.

Scrooge didn’t eliminate his pain—he eventually chose not to let it be in vain. And perhaps that’s the invitation during the holiday season: not forced joy, not denial, but staying open enough to move forward with intention.