Creating Your Holistic Fringe Plan
“What You Seek is Seeking You”.-Rumi
Happy New Year!
Rumi stated that “what you seek is seeking you”. I tend to believe that if we are moving forward toward our desires, then our desire becomes that much closer and much more attainable. This time of the year is often a time of reflection of those desires. Our mind, body, and spirit are continually sending us messages about what we need in our lives, not just during the beginning of a new year, however, the new year does produce an opportunity to reflect on what you desire for your life moving forward.
Every day, I see clients who want to make their lives better in some way. Often, they can see the problem, their health may be failing because they are not following their treatment plan and often part of my work is helping those clients realize the progress that they have already made so that they can develop the strength to continue to move forward with the work. How often do we take the time to reflect on the hard work that we have already done? How often do we focus on where we have actually come from? I can say for myself that I have come from a place of feeling like I did not belong to my family of origin, to creating my own sense of belonging so that I can sit at any table that I choose. I cannot say that was my original resolution-for years I prayed that I would be good enough-good enough for my family, good enough for my friends, good enough for my career. And every year, I found myself disappointed. I was disappointed that I did not get that promotion (in fact, I ended up getting demoted at one point). I found that the more that I tried to do things for my family-buying gifts, planning elaborate vacations, making obligatory phone calls pretending everything was fine, the more it seemed that others became more distant. The more I tried to plan get-togethers with friends, the busier they became. Every year, I created an outline of things that I could do to "fix" things. If I wanted to lose weight, I would join a weight loss challenge. I found that I did lose the weight, but I was still unhappy. We all have those moments where we have focused all of our energy on doing things to get the desired results-some of that can be cultural-we may have social norms that tell us that if you do enough, you will get what you want. However, it can be disappointing and un-motivating when our resolutions are not resolved despite all of that hard work, or if those results show us that additional work needs to be done for us to actually be at peace with ourselves, or with others.
Don't get me wrong-creating a plan can help us in certain areas of our life. For example, creating a budget so that you can afford that car or item that you have wanted for awhile is a great idea. Writing down goals and plans help us stay focused on the steps that we need to take to realize our goals and can also help us track our overall progress. However, sometimes our behaviors our only one part of the equation of us truly achieving peace of mind. In those cases, we may need to create a holistic plan for our goals that is less about achieving certain goals, and more about putting your own wellness at the forefront of your priorities.
Holistic planning involves creating a plan, acknowledging progress, and determining what is needed for us to feel better continually. It is less about attaining a goal and more about continually reflecting on the process knowing that reaching that completed moment may take a lifetime, but we can enjoy the benefits of the process along the way. Here are a few ways to transform those resolutions into a holistic plan:
1) Know what you do (and do not) know. We all have knowledge that can help us solve part of the puzzle. We may be creative and know ways to make money. We may be a healthcare worker who has the academic knowledge of how our bodies work. Wherever you gleaned that information, use those tools! Write down what you know to be true so when doubt creeps in, you can remind yourself of those truths. Conversely, none of us know everything and there is always something else to learn. This belief brings us an opportunity to do some self-exploration: What have you always been curious about? What questions do you need answered to make an informed decision about what you may need to do to attain that goal? If problem solving tends to bring about anxiety for you, try to look at the problem from a curious framework. Curiosity has the potential turn fear into into excitement about what may be coming for you.
2) For those things that you don't know, seek support. Sometimes that support is doing some research from books and the Internet. Sometimes it is talking to someone that you trust. Sometimes it is searching for spiritual support. Other times it is reaching out to a professional, such as a personal trainer, a financial advisor, or even a counselor. You may find that professional may not only be able to give you information from their field of expertise, but they may also be able to connect you to other professionals that may be able to further assist you in attaining those goals.
3) Acknowledge the work that you have done so far. Even though it may seem silly to acknowledge the seemingly tiny steps, tiny steps create the foundation for us to take bigger steps. None of us can get to the top of the mountain instantaneously-we all have our own steps to climb. Sometimes it is acknowledging that you have decided to make a change. Sometimes, it is going to that appointment that you have feared. Sometimes, it is making a statement or asking a question. Sometimes, it is simply stating, “I am proud of myself for…”. The more that we can acknowledge those risks that we have taken in the past, the more confident we can feel about taking bigger risks.
4) Get to work. When you know what you need to do, sometimes the hardest part can be just getting started. The nice part about reaching this step is the realization that you have already taken the first step-you have acknowledged that something needs to change in your life and you have decided that you want to do something about it. If there are several steps that you must take that may get increasingly difficult, focus on completing the smaller steps first so that you can remind yourself of the work that you have already done when it starts to get difficult.
The New Year tends to bring new hope that the new year will bring the broken promises of the previous year: the love of our life, higher profits/salaries, a child, or maybe some peace of mind. Every year, we state that we will eat right, workout more, spend less time at work,get that promotion. We tend to believe that if we write these wishes down that they will become our reality. Some of us do attain those goals: we lose weight, get married, have children, get that job promotion, but, what happens the following year? We tend to ask for more-those resolutions are long forgotten and with achievements lost in the process.So this new year, resolve to listen to your head, heart, and soul to determine what is best for you, day, by day, moment by moment.
Wishing you the holistic best in mind, body, and soul for your new year,
Chante’