What Weighs Us Down

The beginning of the year can be a freeing time, but it can also be a heavy time. Many of us make new year’s resolutions-perhaps you said that this year would be the year that you would lose weight. If that is you, you’re not alone. Weight loss is one of the top three New Year’s resolutions in the United States. Every year, gym memberships skyrocket in January. Diet ads ramp up on the television and we are inundated with all of these potential supports. However, I wonder how many of us feel truly supported? It feels like the expectation that we achieve such goals can often leave us feeling, well, alone.

Martin Luther King Jr stated that love is weightless, love is light and that hate is a burden too great to bear. While he spoke about the hatred that we as humans could have towards one another, a wonder if there is also a space to discuss self-hatred here. As a clinician, I see clients on a weekly basis who are all about creating these goals and pushing themselves to achieve these goals no matter what. However, when I start to talk about self-love, that becomes challenging to perceive. I heard one staff person state that they had gotten so used to things being so difficult, that they could believe when something was easy. When someone said yes, even if it wasn’t the traditional route, it was shocking for the person, which made me feel a sense of sadness-not everything should feel so heavy.

The truth of the matter is that there are both internal and external forces that can bring us down. Being in a city that experienced a wind chill factor of -32 degrees created some environmental forces that made it difficult for me to do the things that I usually do-such as going to the gym, for example. I could have chosen to be angry about the weather and focus that energy on the burden, or instead focus on what I could do instead. If I took the time to actually allow myself to take a break, maybe I would be practicing self-love, instead of pressuring myself to do the thing that feel like a burden. Choosing to not be an internal focus that might express that I don’t like myself, not only helps me lighten the load for myself, but can also help me lighten the load for someone else. That can feel like true love, and perhaps even, love.

My hope is that this year we can move towards embodying light. When we embody love, we stie to practice that love, just as becoming a person who identifies as an athlete might strive to exercise. Ask yourself: am I making things harder or easier for myself? Does my internal dialogue reflect love or hatred. What does my external dialogue reflect? Checking in with one’s self is a key way to determine if you are demonstrating love or something else.

I hope this season feels weightless for you. But, if it doesn’t I hope that you will find ways to lighten the burden-seek support from trusted sources, love yourself and others (even if that means setting boundaries, and give yourself grace to go through the process of becoming better step by step.