Sprinkle Some Love on It

“Donuts and a pizza party won’t fix team morale.” How many of us have been in spaces where leadership provides food for staff in appreciation of what they do? It doesn’t matter if there are dietary preferences/needs or even if the staff desire that, it is just assumed that the gesture is an adequate way to demonstrate that you are appreciated. How does that typically make you feel?

As Valentine’s Day has just passed, perhaps love and appreciation is on your mind. I know for me, feeling loved or appreciated requires a special touch. I want to know that the token was designed specifically with me in mind. That it wasn’t the cookie-cutter that everyone else is receiving. I like tokens that speak that I am heard and seen, so typically pizza and donuts don’t work for me, particularly at work.

So, what might work at work? As a clinician, I can say that most of my clients express high stress levels from work and not being appreciated tends to come at the top of that ailments list. Sometimes those sprinkles that we believe are insignificant make a big difference. Just as not acknowledging someone in a meeting can have a negative impact on a relationship, listening and following up with someone can have a positive impact.

One of the greatest examples of this for me happened last week. I had a particularly stressful meeting discussing fundraising and felt overwhelmed. The following day I ran into a colleague who was in that meeting who simply said, “I saw what happened in that meeting and it’s difficult for folks to sometimes understand the different dynamics at play in this work. Just wanted to let you know that I am available if you ever want to brainstorm and discuss strategy.” This person demonstrated an extremely high level of emotional intelligence here. First, the person observed and acknowledged what happened in the meeting. Often, meetings can be a space where our mind wanders and we may not be as focused on what is actually happening in the room. Being present can not only help us become more self-aware, but can also make us more aware of what might be happening with others so that we can support them as well. However, it is not enough to just observe. If we see something harmful, or helpful, that is happening, acknowledging, and calling it out can be a powerful way to honor others. This person also gave language to what was happening, normalizing my experience. Working in multi-sector teams is challenging and sometimes the expectations that others have is unrealistic. Emotional intelligence helps us see where our experiences might be informing expectations. Thus, it is important that we level set to determine what expectations make sense based on roles, environments, etc. Leaders may have to receive or provide education on how dynamics might impact the overall goal. Finally, the person offered a resource to help. They left the option open for me to choose.

I left that conversation feeling super-seen and felt like I was an important part of the team. The nice thing about this is that this is something that we all can do. Even if it seems insignificant, you never know if that sprinkle of appreciation might have a giant impact on someone else. This month, try to sprinkle some appreciation in a new way. Tell someone what you have noticed. Offer to support where you can or offer a resource if you cannot. We all want to be seen-show someone that you see them and see if that seed grows team morale.