🌙 Faces of Fear — and How to Change Them
Have you seen the latest installment of Monster on Netflix? I’ll admit, while I’m intrigued, the idea of watching a reenactment of the skin-cutting scenes makes me queasy. Still, horror shows and movies attract millions of viewers every day.
It’s fascinating — why do we chase fictional fears when there are so many real horrors around us?
From the “adulting horrors” of paying bills right after payday to the devastating realities of famine, violence, and loss — fear surrounds us. So, how do we cope in a world that feels like one long horror story?
🎭 The Many Faces of Fear
To begin, let’s name some of the most common fears that quietly shape our lives:
1. Fear of Rejection
This one can be paralyzing. It keeps us from applying for jobs, sharing our art, or opening up emotionally — all to avoid the sting of “no.”
2. Fear of Success
Less discussed, but equally powerful. Success can trigger anxiety about losing our identity or being unable to maintain it. It can feel like we have to wear a mask to fit our new role — becoming someone else entirely.
3. Fear of Abandonment
Even in a connected world, few things hurt more than losing someone we trust. This fear often traces back to earlier experiences of loss or betrayal.
4. Fear of Change or the Unknown
We crave comfort and predictability. But growth — personal or professional — always lives just beyond the edge of the familiar.
Just as horror movies have subgenres, our fears do too. One person might find clowns hilarious; another might feel panic because of a traumatic childhood experience. Our fears are often shaped by past wounds — the “monsters” we’ve already met.
🧠 How Our Minds Cope with Fear
When faced with fear, the brain often chooses one of three classic responses:
🔹 Fight
We push back — sometimes defensively. Think of the coworker who gets angry at constructive feedback. In a broader sense, even political divisions can stem from collective “fight” responses — needing to prove we’re right at any cost.
🔹 Flight
We avoid. Personally, my “flight” shows up in my finances. I’ll avoid checking my bank balance because I fear what it might reveal — overspending, under-earning, or feeling inadequate.
🔹 Freeze
We shut down. In relationships, this might look like going silent when conflict arises or emotionally withdrawing when things get hard.
💥 When We Don’t Face Fear
The irony of fear is that avoiding it often brings about the very outcome we dread.
If I believe I’m not good enough for a promotion, I might subconsciously underperform.
If I freeze up instead of expressing my needs, my partner might feel distant — confirming my fear of abandonment.
Avoidance feeds the monster.
💡 Reframing Fear
A financial advisor once said, “We’re not afraid of the bank account — we’re afraid of what the numbers say about us.”
That hit me hard.
When we regularly face the things that scare us — whether that’s our finances, feedback, or emotions — the monster starts to shrink. We realize it was never as big or as powerful as we thought.
Exposure teaches the brain:
“This isn’t dangerous — it’s just uncomfortable.”
And that tiny distinction changes everything. It’s the difference between avoidance and growth.
🌱 From Horror Story to Healing
We all carry our own horror stories — the heartbreaks, the disappointments, the moments we thought we wouldn’t recover. But when we face what frightens us, we rewrite the ending.
I’ve seen it happen with my clients:
Those who had hard conversations now enjoy deeper, healthier relationships.
Those who spoke up about workplace injustices found not just validation, but promotions.
Those who dared to try again — in love, in business, in life — discovered strength they didn’t know they had.
We love a good horror story, yes — but we love a happy ending even more.
💖 The Courage to Turn the Page
When we breathe through discomfort, speak our truth, and take even one small step toward healing, we take back our power.
Because once you face the monster behind the curtain…
you realize it was never there to destroy you — only to show you how strong you really are.
Reflection Question: What fear are you ready to face today?